Identity shifts in motherhood

If you still don’t feel like yourself months or even years after becoming a mum, you’re very likely still in matrescence, the process of becoming a mother. It often begins in pregnancy and keeps unfolding well past the newborn stage, through the toddler years, a return to work and any children who come after. Feeling unfamiliar to yourself at these points is a normal part of a big developmental change. With time, curiosity and the right support, it usually starts to feel more

Many mums feel like a bad mum because of the impossible expectations placed on mothers, combined with an inner critic that turns ordinary hard moments into proof of failure. Motherhood has no performance reviews and no way to get it all right, so the question "what could I have done better?" rarely switches off. Feeling like a bad mum is very common, and it usually says more about how much you care than about how you're actually doing. Learning the difference between guilt an

Many new mums feel alone after having a baby because support tends to arrive in a rush around the birth and then fades, often within a few weeks, while the need for it carries on for months. Partners go back to work, family may live far away, and friends who mean well aren't sure what to offer. Loneliness after a baby can also show up when people are around, especially if you find it hard to say what you need. It is very common, and with the right support you can start to fee

Everyone told you your life would change. What no one quite explained was that you would change. Not just your routine or your sleep or your body, but your sense of who you are. You catch sight of yourself and feel like you are looking for someone who used to be there. You love your baby completely and still, quietly, you miss the person you were before. There is a word for this, and learning it can be a genuine relief. It is called matrescence. What matrescence means Matresc